I truly am enjoying all this beauty, growing and changing every day.
My son must be shining just like this beautiful flower (as mentioned on my previous post).
Or.... both my kids must be shining
:)
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Birthday Beauty
Today is my son's birthday, he is 22 years old.
This gorgeous flower bloomed just overnight with these two beautiful blooms.
I don't understand numerology much, but it's kind of fun to think that these two blooms are in a way celebrating his '22'-ness. This will last for a very long time, for me to look at and be thinking of him.
I wish I could be with him today and do some fun celebrating together. But will settle for enjoying a Guinness in his honor.
I love you honey! I raise my glass, HOO-YAH!
love mom
Also thanks to Nev for the beauty, I do enjoy it every day.
Monday, March 20, 2006
WOO HOO!
Today I took the signed and notarized settlement papers down to the lawyer's office. She will be filing them with the court this afternoon.
WOO HOO!
It doesn't seem fair that I have to give him half the worth of my retirement, when he's the one that ran off and had all of the affairs throughout our marriage, being so full of lies and deceit, cheapening anything good that we may have had during this marriage. He once said that he felt sorry for my being so fixated on all of his affairs to the elimination of all else, and that is why he settled in the manner in which he did. So in a way he's blaming me for his mean antics in his behavior in how he has dealt with my lawyer, racking up the hours of phone calls, emails and the like. $$$. I'm not fixated, I just have folks every week or two telling me of another affair with someone that he had. When will these stories end, I don't need to hear them anymore, I've heard enough to learn what a joke our marriage had been over the 25 plus years. He has just blamed everything to do with our marriage on me, that everything was my fault, that I didn't do this, or that I wouldn't do that, etc.. Well with his many affairs, it's hard to see that he was ever 100% committed to our marriage. Just like a leopard he won't change his spots, he'll start having affairs behind his new girlfriend's back, he might have started already. She having an affair with him knowing that he was a married man. To be able to lie in my face, the one person that should be the closest person to him, his wife. He talks now of how he tried to tell me blah blah blah, but a few weeks before his last affair, I had asked him what a certain phone call meant, and he lied to me while directly looking in my face. "Oh, she talks to everyone that way, she's weird, etc." Funny how he's demeaning his new girlfriend already, or maybe not so funny, just more of the same. He had definitely perfected his art of lying to me.
By doing crystal methamphetamine for several years, which I hated, he fell asleep at the wheel just last April, while driving on the highway having the air bags deploy and saving his life, he also got suspended from work, having gotten busted while on the job using. Oh but he only uses medicinally, I forgot, heh. If we had gone to court, I was told that I would probably have to pay him maintenence, they kept talking about me with my good earning potential. It's truly amazing how the courts afford every indulgence to drug abusers. The fact that he lost his job because of getting busted, my lawyer told me was just bad timing for me. Just to name a few issues here. His equity in the house equaled my half of the stocks and my half of his IRA's, or at least pretty close, ( we still had alot of debt in the house) but my retirement put me over so it necesitated my giving him half.
Half of his IRA's = around $30,000,
half of my pension = $70,000.00
So I'm paying him $75,000.00 total, $65,000.00 now
and $10,000.00 over 4 years.
I will be able to keep this home, for that I'm very grateful.
It will be so wonderful to get all of this ugliness behind me and I can start fresh, and get on with my life, without him in it. I am so done with him.
A girlfriend spoke of my being "SOL".
Survivor Of L**.
link
Now to qualify for a mortgage, including the previous mortgage, line of credit and now the money I'll have to pay him off with, sigh....
WOO HOO!
It doesn't seem fair that I have to give him half the worth of my retirement, when he's the one that ran off and had all of the affairs throughout our marriage, being so full of lies and deceit, cheapening anything good that we may have had during this marriage. He once said that he felt sorry for my being so fixated on all of his affairs to the elimination of all else, and that is why he settled in the manner in which he did. So in a way he's blaming me for his mean antics in his behavior in how he has dealt with my lawyer, racking up the hours of phone calls, emails and the like. $$$. I'm not fixated, I just have folks every week or two telling me of another affair with someone that he had. When will these stories end, I don't need to hear them anymore, I've heard enough to learn what a joke our marriage had been over the 25 plus years. He has just blamed everything to do with our marriage on me, that everything was my fault, that I didn't do this, or that I wouldn't do that, etc.. Well with his many affairs, it's hard to see that he was ever 100% committed to our marriage. Just like a leopard he won't change his spots, he'll start having affairs behind his new girlfriend's back, he might have started already. She having an affair with him knowing that he was a married man. To be able to lie in my face, the one person that should be the closest person to him, his wife. He talks now of how he tried to tell me blah blah blah, but a few weeks before his last affair, I had asked him what a certain phone call meant, and he lied to me while directly looking in my face. "Oh, she talks to everyone that way, she's weird, etc." Funny how he's demeaning his new girlfriend already, or maybe not so funny, just more of the same. He had definitely perfected his art of lying to me.
By doing crystal methamphetamine for several years, which I hated, he fell asleep at the wheel just last April, while driving on the highway having the air bags deploy and saving his life, he also got suspended from work, having gotten busted while on the job using. Oh but he only uses medicinally, I forgot, heh. If we had gone to court, I was told that I would probably have to pay him maintenence, they kept talking about me with my good earning potential. It's truly amazing how the courts afford every indulgence to drug abusers. The fact that he lost his job because of getting busted, my lawyer told me was just bad timing for me. Just to name a few issues here. His equity in the house equaled my half of the stocks and my half of his IRA's, or at least pretty close, ( we still had alot of debt in the house) but my retirement put me over so it necesitated my giving him half.
Half of his IRA's = around $30,000,
half of my pension = $70,000.00
So I'm paying him $75,000.00 total, $65,000.00 now
and $10,000.00 over 4 years.
I will be able to keep this home, for that I'm very grateful.
It will be so wonderful to get all of this ugliness behind me and I can start fresh, and get on with my life, without him in it. I am so done with him.
A girlfriend spoke of my being "SOL".
Survivor Of L**.
link
Now to qualify for a mortgage, including the previous mortgage, line of credit and now the money I'll have to pay him off with, sigh....
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Serendipity
I was just part of a reuniting of high school sweethearts after more than 20 years and several broken relationships later. The timing of each being involved while the other wasn't, distance, life in general kept them apart over all of the lost years. Well now they have reunited and are so happy to have found each other again. It was meant to be....
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